I have spent my life seeing the world through mental illness due to a depression/anxiety disorder. I was never contented, happy or at peace and connecting with people was difficult. The year 2010 was extremely difficult for me. My beautiful 58 year old sister died quite suddenly. My brother-in-law and I took her to the hospital on Tuesday and she died on Saturday morning. A week after she died, my brother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal cancer. He passed away 6 months later. To really complicate matters, my youngest daughter, who had a 3 month old baby, developed a neurological disorder. My daughter could not swallow without choking. There were several grueling months of tests for tumors, stroke, blood clots etc. with no real answers. In the end, the problem simply resolved itself for which I am eternally thankful. To say this was a stressful period would be to put it mildly because everything happened at the same time.
Unity taught me that by seeking satisfaction outside of myself, I could never succeed. Everything I require to live a successful and fulfilling life comes from within. I have learned spiritual tools which I can implement in any situation. For example, meditation, heart coherence and mindfulness techniques, and of course spiritual concepts. Some concepts that help me include, “nothing happens to me, but rather happens through me”; “no one or nothing is against me”; and “thoughts held in mind produce after their kind.” To me this means that my thoughts mirror my values, expectations, attitudes and how I see the world. By seeing every aspect of my life as vital to my spiritual evolution, I not only take personal responsibility, but I look within to find the most positive way to respond.
During that period when everything was happening, I just kept meditating and affirming that “life doesn’t happen to me, it happens for me”. I kept reliving my sister’s death in my mind. I would breathe into my heart space every time I thought of her and allow the thoughts to flow through me. Meditating allowed me to find that calm space within me where there is only peace and it has become my blessing. My life experiences as well as mood disorder have caused major imbalances in my life. It is through such imbalances that I find balance in my spiritual centre where there is calm, peace and harmony. I use my mood disorder as a springboard to my spiritual evolution in order to create a positive situation from what could be seen as negative.
Unity is showing me the how to live my life’s journey through my heart space where the Divine resides.